total examination ;;

looking at exact intent.
exact intake.
exact reaction.
exact action.
attempt.

shock and awe ;;

to my surprise i see this reverse in steps but forward in motion.
i think it's like i am going to have a chance to really have everything i have ever wanted, as long as i do it in the emptiest way possible. go in with nothing, absorb it all, and really focus on suceeding the way i know i can.
have all my dreams become more than just a reality.
what is reality for my shell, if not the same as for my consciousness.

sim simma veggie noodle soup for dinnaa ;;

i opted for veggie soup last night, for more variety. i realized also yesterday this has to be my platform for more than just food - i have to start using it to air out my thoughts. i have more recently spent my internet time at starbucks. they are so nice by the way- so welcoming!! grateful for all of the people that work there. anyways- i am having a calm tea, thankgoodness for the 150teas, and i just finished dipping cookies in chocolate for the crew tonight. i may eat one, against junk food rules, but it may be one of the last dinners in the castle, so screw it! i had a cheddar whole wheat bun sandwich for lunch! it was good. gluten is going to be hard to quiiiiiiit. but i am going to try after the last bit of pasta is gone. crazy struggles with food!

there's tons of reasons for needing an extra part time job. i need one sooner than later. been applying everywhere. have an interview today, don't want to jinx it but i need this. need it, so that i can release some stress from my financial world.

siigh, the pains and stuggles of life, but i enjoy every minute OF EXPERIENCE. may i add radiohead is on in starbucks today, and i love this - THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

day two ;;

well, gluten is not going quite yet - have to finish off all the pasta at home so i am not a wasteful being. anyways - yesterday a basil, spinach and olive oil rotini served with parm was lunch! i ate leftovers for dinner too! hehe for breakfast, cake and i had chocolate yogurt, peanut butter and banana shakes! that was amazing. loved it so much.

today, i am going to try to finish off the rigatoni i have left, and then no more gluten. there's not much food in the castle right now, so simple pasta's with a veg and olive oil save the day! and for brunch i had a whole grain bagel with cream cheese. very balanced, protein that i need and whole grains. perfect way to start eating!

hopefully the variety moves quickly- and i am diving headfirst into gluten free cooking next week- MISSION NO MORE JUNK IN EFFECT

long time. forty more days.

Hey everyone -
well since the changes in life this year, in consciousness, lifestyle, love, friendship, home, the way i treat myself, which in turn changes how i treat others leads me to believe it is a perfect time to reboot my food system. i just got my wisdom teeth pulled, and to be honest, it really drained me not being able to eat good foods. i am also in the process [ long process ] of quitting smoking. gradual decline in nicotine intake has left me at three to four cigarettes a day- or less. I really try to not need it, but i think this week i am going to add the patch and remove cigarettes completely. anyways - that's a struggle and story in itself.

today i launch my quest for good eating . again. when i did it at the beginning of the year - it really helped me loose the excess weight i had gained over the prior year...20+lbs....and i am now at a healthy, and happy body weight that i can maintain. with all of this and me loosing the initial quitting smoking five pounds, i now see myself fit to quit all processed foods, and foods not beneficial to my health. I really want to have a happy healthy and long future with the ones i love, and when now is so amazing, tomorrow can only be better - i really appreciate everyone who has stuck by me, believed in me when i was at my worst. when i did things i didn't understand, when i treated myself so poorly i was not capable of treating anyone around me any better....thank you and i love you. thank you for never leaving me behind, never loosing hope in me, and for always telling me the truth about myself so i could look in the mirror and finally change how i treat myself so i am capable of loving the rest of the world. i have now even been blessed by the universe to have a special human i can't wait to coexist with, make a future together. letting the winds of the heavens blow between us so we can create togetherness in souls uniting. beauty is now. treat yourself the best now. for now. forever.

this time i go one step deeper. NO MORE GLUTEN . !!! N O N E .

so no processed foods, nothing deep fried, or high in refined sugars or fats. nothing unnatural or over processed. nothing that is more than one generation of process [ ie. almond milk is first generation therefore i can consume it in tiny quantities , when organic ] i am also going to try to eat as much organic or natural as possible. hopefully it's possible, but i will update and keep photo journal like before. also, i am going to add skipping for 30-50 minutes four times a week, paired with sit ups, push ups and try some other exercise [ maybe yoga or pilates ? anyone have any good books i can borrow ? or get online ? ].


i really hope some of you join me in my quest for good eating, and a healthy lifestyle.
love from me and from the universe.